dart train diaries

tales of tragedy, triumph, and tranquility from the dart train

5.29.2023 monday

no work due to holiday. no dart train drama.

5.30.2023 tuesday

nothing to report. both relieved and disappointed.

5.31.2023 wednesday

a kiosk at my station was blaring some kind of warning siren. what does it mean? oh the mysteries of the dart train . . .

6.1.2023 thursday

i saw more businesspeople during morning rush hour.

note to self: this is one time you might be better off leaving later for work.

6.2.2023 friday

found a random key in the park and ride lot. unsure how to get it back to its owner. might try reddit.

p.s. that note about leaving later in the mornings for the business crowd was stupid. i got lucky thursday morning. sometimes you just gotta take your victories as they come.

in the afternoon, some wild-eyed guy was walking by my station. he appeared to be arguing with someone no one else could see. another man, not paying attention, walked in front of the wild-eyed guy a little too closely.

his apology did no good. wild eyes started yelling at the guy, threatening to fight him, saying he didn't like being followed and messed with. this was when i realized standing up against a building might not be the best idea, so i walked over to a wider open area while being sure not to look at ole wild eyes.

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today's operator had a heavy foot. heavy on the gas. and then heavy on the brake.

yes, i know trains don't operate with gas and brake pedals. but go with the metaphor.

because that's how this guy (or gal) operated this morning. like a brand new driver.

i had brought my laptop so i could make the most of my commute and write. but being jarred out of what i was concentrating on was making me sick. so i just sat there, meditating on the vision of not blowing chunks.

good thing i hadn't eaten breakfast yet.


the dart train is a great place to toke up, thought some asshole(s) in an adjacent car.

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according to the recording that played in my train car this morning, they're called “fare inspectors,” not “dart police.”

we at dart train diaries deeply regret this error and will be sure to use the proper name in the future.


some guy needed to show what a badass he was so he tried to kick a styrofoam cup across the track. the cup floated in the air and landed a foot in front of him.

all that energy exerted. for nothing.

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tickets please!

i didn't see anyone get kicked off this time.


“excuse me sir,” some lady said to me. i walked on. lady, what makes you think i have money to give? i'm riding the fucking dart train.

“the dart train is sketch,” i heard someone in the office say. yeah. it is. that's the fun, buddy.

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dart police boarded the train and asked for tickets

doakes from dexter: "surprise, mother fucker!"

guy stepped onto the train, saw the dart police, pretended he was searching for his ticket, and then promptly exited the train. gotta respect his commitment to the act.


waiting at the station, saw some jacked up shirtless guy talking to someone else who never said anything. other guy looked angry. couldn't tell if he was angry because of what the jacked up guy was talking to him about, or the fact the jacked up guy was even talking to him.

saw some other guy talking smack to a group of three other dudes. the train obstructed my view before i could see if he got his ass beat.

ride the dart

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